There are so many things in life that we cant explain – good and bad – and I’m a firm believer that there is so much more happening around us than meets the eye.

After losing my Dad six years ago, I felt SO lost and broken. How could this have happened? How can he just not be here any more? Death is so final. Abrupt. Absolute. It’s so unfair.

I hadn’t thought much about an afterlife or things beyond what we can comprehend until he passed away, but death has a way of making us question everything. I hoped he was safe. I hoped his energy, his being, soul…was somewhere. The thought of him witnessing my life – in some way, shape or form – gave me some comfort.

I miss him in all of the little moments that my life has to offer. The ones that we don’t particularly write down because they’re lost in the monotony of the every day, like playing euchre on a random Saturday night, or when I would call for no reason whatsoever and hear his voice on the other end of the line, “Hey Sweetie-pie! Whats up?”

But I miss him the most in the BIG moments and lately there have been some REALLY BIG beautiful moments – like the birth of my son Griffin. The thought of him not being here for them makes me catch my breath and brings back the grief so intensely that I can feel it in my bones. It makes me cry just writing this.

Speaking of big beautiful moments, last week was one of the most amazing weeks of my life. I was on vacation with my family – my beautiful eight month old baby boy and my boyfriend Matt. Matt had coordinated with two of my best friends (who I don’t get to see as often now because I moved across the country) to surprise me in Mexico. I was shocked when they walked in the door of our hotel room and SO excited to spend five days with them. My heart was bursting.

Then three days later, on the white sand beach, in the sunshine with waves crashing behind us, Matt got down on one knee and asked me to marry him with my friends Mack and Amanda looking on while filming the whole thing. It was like a fairy tale. I said yes without hesitation and then jumped into his arms. It was as perfect as I could have ever imagined. We laughed, we cried, we kissed and hugged and celebrated with a bottle of champagne on the beach.

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As I started to come down off of the initial high, the thought of sharing the amazing news with my family flashed into my mind. Immediately afterwards it was followed with that familiar sharp pang of grief – the knowing that I wouldn’t be able to share the news with my Dad.

Our conversation turned to the unknown and we were talking about having experiences in life that you couldn’t explain and about signs from loved ones that had passed (all the while thinking about my Dad).

I couldn’t make this up if I tried, but as we all stood there chatting about signs, champagne glasses in hand, a ladybug flew up and landed on me. Not only did it land on me out of everyone standing there, but it landed on my left arm, the arm with the hand that now had a beautiful engagement ring on it.

There are a few things that I need to clarify that make this moment so miraculous:

We hadn’t seen ONE bug the entire trip and we didn’t see one after this moment, let alone a ladybug. It was also EXTREMELY windy that day – you can see it in our engagement video (look at my hair for proof), the wind is howling – which makes it hard for anything to fly and stay put.

The ladybug didn’t budge as we stood there in shock and the realization sunk in that this could be a beautiful sign from my Dad. It stayed right where it landed for around FIVE minutes. It allowed us to get some of my favourite pictures from the whole experience and I even had time to take off my resort bracelet (which was on my left wrist) so we could get some pictures without it. The lady bug just hung out the whole time, even amidst all of the commotion.

We had just been talking about signs from loved ones and this happened?

We were all in tears.

I knew ladybugs were known to be a sign from beyond – but I just googled ‘Ladybug Spiritual Significance’, to see what exactly a ladybug represents and here are the answers:

Ladybugs are considered spiritual messengers and symbols of good fortune, protection, and healing across many cultures. 

If a ladybug appears in your life, it’s often interpreted as a message from a loved one signifying good luck, protection, love, and positive change; essentially a sign that they are with you in spirit, watching over you and sending you positive energy, encouraging you to embrace joy and remain hopeful. 

Protection:

• Ladybugs are thought to be a sign of protection and blessings from the spiritual world.
• In some cultures, ladybugs are associated with rebirth and regeneration. 
• Ladybugs are often seen as a sign that you’re not alone, especially during times of change. 

Love and marriage 

• In some cultures, ladybugs are considered a symbol of matrimonial happiness.
• The vibrant red color of ladybugs is thought to symbolize love and passion.

When a loved one delivers the ladybug as their gift, they tell us, “My love is wrapped tightly around you, keeping you safe.”

Life will never be the same without him in it, but after this experience I truly believe he’s so proud and so happy for me and all life has blessed me with.

Thanks for the ladybug, Dad. I love you and miss you so much.

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